A Father’s perspective on birthing
Wednesday 2 September 2020
First time Dad, Scott recently welcomed his son George. During the birth, Scott found his role was to listen to the midwives and help where he could.
"We were at our 38-week appointment with our obstetrician when she told us the placenta was not looking good and she wanted the baby to come out the next day. We had obviously been planning for our baby to arrive but to find out it was happening tomorrow was quite overwhelming,” Scott said.
“My wife opted to be induced, so we presented back to the hospital later that night and the midwives helped the labour process along. In the morning our obstetrician broke her waters and we waited for contractions to start.
“She slowly started experiencing contractions which were minor at first then progressively became more intense. The worst of the contractions had her doubled over a medi-ball in pain.”
Scott explains at the time he wasn’t sure how to help.
“I kept asking our midwife if this was normal, and she was assuring me everything my wife was experiencing was very normal, she guided me through how to help my wife and what to say to her,” Scott says.
“Her contractions had increased and the midwife suggested the best thing we could do at this point was to have an epidural. My wife had wanted to deliver without an epidural but I reassured her that this was the best option and I was so proud of her and everything she had done. My wife said that really helped her be okay with the decision.
Scott says his son was born some hours later and it was the most magical and surreal experience of his life.
“To see a tiny human come into the world who is now so reliant on you, was just amazing,” Scott said,
“My advice to other father’s would be, be present and in the moment. This is not the time to play on your phone. Be with your partner, listen to her. Also understand how important your midwife is, they are there to guide you, ask questions and take their advice,” Scott said.
“Make sure you take care of yourself as well, most labours can last up to twelve hours. Eat, drink and go to the toilet when you need to. There are so many jokes about men fainting in the delivery room and it’s probably a combination of adrenaline, hunger and dehydration.
“Another piece of advice would be similar to what Ryan Reynolds once said, 'A baby has exited your wife, she’s done her bit,' this is so true. Your time to shine is post birth—change nappies, feed her while she breastfeeds, hold the baby while she sleeps.”
Scott said having a baby is a team effort between you and your partner, it is important to be supportive of each other and reach out for help when you need it.
“Finally remember this is a happy and beautiful time, ask the staff to take photographs of you as a family. Rest, eat well and don’t be afraid to ask questions. Really enjoy your child, they are the most amazing gift.”
Additional Support Services
In Hospital
Mater offers many additional support services for Father’s including, The Dads Session for postnatal Dads on the ward. Ask your midwife when these are available.
The session gives new dads an opportunity to:
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Debrief their birth experience
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Reflect on their role as father
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Explore ways to support their partner
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Discuss stress management strategies
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Discuss and practice baby care skills
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Receive education on Postnatal depression
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Share thoughts on work-life balance
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Receive information regarding support service for Dads in the community
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Engage with an Lactation Consultant regarding breastfeeding information and ways Dads can support.
Once you’ve gone home
07 3163 2229